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Old 02-06-2006, 07:39 PM   #1
ScienceGuy
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Default Boy scout skit

I just wanted to post a skit that my boy scout troop does some times.


There is a boy named Jimmy.
One day Jimmy's class is told to write a report about their favorite animals.
Jimmy goes home and writes his report on butterflies.
The next day he hands his report to his teacher, who after reading it yells: "Butterflies, Jimmy, butterflies! Go to the principal's office."
On his way to the principal's office he wonders what he did wrong.
When the principle hears why Jimmy is in his office, the principle says, "Jimmy, you are suspended until further notice."
Jimmy is walking home when he meets Sally the truck driver. Sally offers to give him a ride.
Sally asks why Jimmy is not in school.
"I wrote a report on butterflies," says Jimmy "My teacher sent me to the principal who kicked me out."
"Butterflies, Jimmy, butterflies!" says Sally and grabs him by his belt and throws him out of the moving truck.
When Jimmy finally gets home his mother asks why he is home early.
After he explains, she sends himto bed without supper.
At about 9:00 his dad gets home and comes storming into Jimmy's bedroom.
"Butterflies, Jimmy, butterflies!" shouts his father.
The next thing Jimmy knows he is flying out of a 2nd story window.
After about 20 minutes on the street he meet a hobo.
"Hello," Jimmy says "My name is Jimmy."
"What are you doing out this late Jimmy," asks the hobo.
Jimmy explains the day's shocking events.
"Butterflies, Jimmy, butterflies!" says the hobo and he shoves Jimmy toward the curb.
Jimmy, who is not paying attention to anything but his troubles, walks out in to the roadand gets hit by a suv.

The moral of the story is... ...LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET.
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Old 02-06-2006, 09:49 PM   #2
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Yes, I know this skit is outrageously long, but I thought it was funny. Okay, there's five guys in a line in a submarine. There's the Captain, 3 sailors, and a stupid guy. They're in a big naval battle.

Captain: Fire torpedo one!
Sailor 1: Fire torpedo one!
Sailor 2: Fire torpedo one!
Sailor 3: Fire torpedo one!
Stupid Guy: How do you do that?
Sailor 3: How do you do that?
Sailor 2: How do you do that?
Sailor 1: How do you do that?
Captain: Press button one!
Sailor 1: Press button one!
Sailor 2: Press button one!
Sailor 3: Press button one!
Stupid Guy: Okay! *Presses Button*
Captain: Ar! We missed! Fire torpedo two!
Sailor 1: Ar! We missed! Fire torpedo two!
Sailor 2: Ar! We missed! Fire torpedo two!
Sailor 3: Ar! We missed! Fire torpedo two!
Stupid Guy: How do you do that?
Sailor 3: How do you do that?
Sailor 2: How do you do that?
Sailor 1: How do you do that?
Captain: Press button two!
Sailor 1: Press button two!
Sailor 2: Press button two!
Sailor 3: Press button two!
Stupid Guy: Okay! *Presses Button*
Captain: Ar! We missed again! Fire torpedo three!
Sailor 1: Ar! We missed again! Fire torpedo three!
Sailor 2: Ar! We missed again! Fire torpedo three!
Sailor 3: Ar! We missed again! Fire torpedo three!
Stupid Guy: How do you do that?
Sailor 3: How do you do that?
Sailor 2: How do you do that?
Sailor 1: How do you do that?
Captain: Press button three!
Sailor 1: Press button three!
Sailor 2: Press button three!
Sailor 3: Press button three!
Stupid Guy: Okay! *Presses Button*
Captain: Ar! We're out of torpedos! To protect my dignity, I will shoot myself! *Grabs gun and shoots self*
Sailor 1: Ar! We're out of torpedos! To protect my dignity, I will shoot myself! *Grabs gun and shoots self*
Sailor 2: Ar! We're out of torpedos! To protect my dignity, I will shoot myself! *Grabs gun and shoots self*
Sailor 3: Ar! We're out of torpedos! To protect my dignity, I will shoot myself! *Grabs gun and shoots self*
Stupid Guy: How do you do that?
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Old 02-07-2006, 10:44 AM   #3
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We dd that at summer camp until one year there happened to be military.
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Old 02-07-2006, 02:17 PM   #4
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I bet that was embarassing.
I'm also a boy scout myself, and I'm notorious for thinking up weird skits at camp. Once, I went up in front of everybody and dramatically read a poem from the back of a bag of cheetos. In fact, I have it memorized:

When I crave the snack that's the cheesiest around,
I gotta have cheetos(tm) brand puffs, nothing better's been found.
Take these cheetos right here in your paws,
It's the perfect puffed snack! Why, you ask, it's because...
They're puffy and cheesy and make hands orange-dusted,
When you're sneaking a few, you're bound to get busted.
But moms can be cool, they like cheetos(tm) a lot,
So just smile and say "Ah, now that hit the spot!"


...yeah. I'm so cool.
Anyway, so what do you think of boy scouting?
It's an interesting organization. I've had a lot of good times with my friends on camping trips and so forth. I went skiing and sailboating with my troop, and I went to Philmont, New Mexico for 2 weeks last summer. It was pretty incredible. And of course, I've learned a lot from Boy Scouts, and I think it can do a lot to build character and that sort of thing.

However, I would say that BSA has its negative sides as well. I really hate having to wear those silly uniforms and recite cheesy oaths and pledges. Since our troop is small, I'm by far the best kid in our troop for a leadership position that's willing to do anything, so I've been serving as senior patrol leader for several months now, even though I don't want to. And finally (although I don't want to ignite a frantic debate or anything) I really disagree with the intolerant politics of the people running the organization.

Just wondering what you think of Boy Scouts...
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:21 PM   #5
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I remember doing this one skit at church camp...sure, it's not boy scouts, but we still do skits! Here goes...

Bicycle Store Manager: Welcome to my store! Feel free to ride whichever one you like.
Customer: Okay.
(The customer sits on three the four bikes. One is too big, one too small, and one doesn't move.)
Customer: I'll try this one!
(The customer sits on the last bike, but he falls over on it. TWICE!)
Customer: I think there's something wrong with this one.
BSM: I know the problem.
(The BSM picked the guy in charge to come up. The BSM was our conselour, just for the record. The BSM makes the person hold on to the person playing the bike. The customer gets on the bike and doesn't fall)
Customer: This is great! I'll take it! By the way, what was the problem?
BSM: I needed a big NUT to hold it together.
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Old 02-07-2006, 06:05 PM   #6
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We did something similar with a lawn mower once. It needed a big jerk.
I like scouting though I can't find my uniform half the time. My troop is medium size. I am life and through the easy half of my eagle requirements. :wink: If any body moves to Dayton, Ohio look up troop 55 in englewood.
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Old 02-07-2006, 08:43 PM   #7
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Ah yes, the old "big jerk" gag. We did that at a Court of Honor.

Hey I'm a Life Scout too!
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