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Old 07-26-2007, 09:27 AM   #1
31337
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Default My life story

I was walking down a dark alley with my parents in the streets of London (or was it Gotham?) and then all of a sudden they perished at the hands of a mugger. I was terrified and was considering getting an alter ego that has a cool costume until I was taken in by turtles who were radioactive and donned ninja weapons. I was starving. I tried to get a slice of pizza until they snapped and tried to kill me. They revealed that they had caused the unnatural deaths of my parents and I was devastated. I ran as fast as I could away until I reached a back alley where I met a guy named Farley who worked at a Hormel Spam factory. I worked and eventually was able to make a living off my income and I was happy until.... I WAS ADOPTED! These parents were terrible! They thought I was insane, so I had to go for psychological evaluation then was given medicine. I looked at the medicine and then decided that they were cyanide tablets then flushed them down the toilet forever. I then saw Hamumu and you know what happens from here.



Post your completely true stories here!
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:29 AM   #2
PlasmaCannonsRule
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Default Re: My life story

I don't think that expresses how much this is untrue. Come to think of it, I recall someone else making a comment like this in another thread of yours.....
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:33 AM   #3
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Default Re: My life story

Nonsense, it's completely true or your money back guaranteed!
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:58 AM   #4
diginova
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Default Re: My life story

That will be $1,000,000, 31337. You can also pay with 1000 forum points. Otherwise, I'll complain to the BBB about your fraudulent business practices.
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Old 07-26-2007, 10:10 AM   #5
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Default Re: My life story

SPAM BATTLE TIME!!!!

I run off into the sunset with $1,000,000!
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Old 07-26-2007, 10:29 AM   #6
diginova
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Default Re: My life story

SPAM
SPICED HAM!
HAMMER-IFFIC!

Egg and bacon
Egg, sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg, and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam
Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam
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Old 07-26-2007, 10:35 AM   #7
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Default Re: My life story

ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG!

*kills everyone with nuclear explosion*
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Old 07-26-2007, 10:57 AM   #8
diginova
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Default Re: My life story

Floobie, the kamikaze watermelon!
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Old 07-26-2007, 11:40 AM   #9
Mr.Onion
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Default Re: My life story

That is a badly edited grayscale photo of the Kamikaze Watermelon!
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Old 07-26-2007, 11:57 AM   #10
happystickman
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Default Re: My life story

Great. Not ANOUTHER one!
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Old 07-26-2007, 01:01 PM   #11
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Default Re: My life story

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Onion View Post
That is a badly edited grayscale photo of the Kamikaze Watermelon!
I didn't actually want to bother with pulling up a copy of the Demented Cartoon Movie, so I just stole the first picture shown off Google.
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