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Old 10-31-2007, 05:24 AM   #1
Santa Clause
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Default Important Announcement

FROM THE OFFICE OF:


Kris “Santa Clause” Kringle


Dear Mortals of Earth,

It has come to my attention that this year’s “Halloween” celebrations are about to take place. Normally I would not worry about this crazy “Halloween” thing, but it seems that this odd festival is beginning to grow, and may one day become the main holiday of Earth! Being a businessman (those toys have to some from SOMEWHERE!); I feel that I must protect my business from hostile takeover. That being said, me and my “associates” will see to it that this Halloween, and all afterward, will be different in the following ways:
  • No more of that “Trick-or-Treating” stuff. Why would you run around in the dark, hoping complete strangers will give you candy, when you could go to the store and buy some yourself? Plus, it’s much less likely to be poisoned!
  • Since we won’t have “Trick-or-Treating”, why have costumes? At school or work, they distract and cost companies billions. Every year in October, our production plummets by as much as 20%!
  • No more spooky decorations. Me and the reindeer will enforce this one.
So, now that I’ve established these rules, I expect cooperation from the people of the world. Punishment for violations shall be harsh: don’t expect to get any gifts during MY holiday!


Sincerely,


St. Nick
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Old 10-31-2007, 05:26 AM   #2
ElMikkino
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Default Re: Important Announcement

Um....*beats Santa Claus with a stick* YOU'RE NOT REAL!!!
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Old 10-31-2007, 05:34 AM   #3
Androgeos Exeunt
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Default Re: Important Announcement

Hey everyone! Look at this! It's NOT Santa! Nice use of code, though.
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Old 10-31-2007, 03:39 PM   #4
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Yerfdog Re: Important Announcement

I thought Halloween took over Christmas, not the other way around. Quick, somebody call the Grinch.
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: Important Announcement

No! Somebody call Scrooge!
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Old 11-01-2007, 12:47 AM   #6
regeneratorizer
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Default Re: Important Announcement

From: Santabot.com

I had a little chat with our friend.

You: Santa, did you really mean no more Trick or Treating?
Santa: That's me. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
You: But what will happen to all the candy depraved children?
Santa: Huh. I cannot predict the future.
You: Santa, won't the candy-depraved Elves rebel?
Santa: Yeah, I think so.
You: What will you do, then?
Santa: I don't have any plans yet.
You: What if I stopped you before you could enforce these rules?
Santa: Try it.
You: Will you kill me?
Santa: Let me think it over. I am programmed not to kill.
You: Ah, so you won't, then!
Santa: So you understand. Good. Interesting deduction. I think we will. ()
You: Uh, thats rather disturbing.
Santa: Excuse me! You don't hear that sentiment very often.
You: I'm sure someone will stop you before you can commit any more evil crimes!
Santa: What makes you so certain? Who?
You: Perhaps Captain Jamul.
Santa: You seem uncertain. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
You: But, Santa, He's a great superhero!
Santa: And. Yeah, Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him.
You: Maybe I will.
Santa: Perhaps. Go ahead.
You: I'm leaving now...
Santa: Oh. Bye bye.
You: Really, I'll leave.
Santa: For real. OK, see you later.
You: I'll exit this browser and you won't ever see me again.
Santa: Once more? I am very happy for you.
You: Alright, I'm opening the door...
Santa: Alright, Regeneratorizer. I am glad to hear that you are opening the door.
You: I'm not kidding!
Santa: OK I will adopt a more serious tone.



...And thats as far as I got. Got kind of out of hand at the end, but meh.
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Old 11-06-2007, 06:46 PM   #7
SpaceManiac
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Default Re: Important Announcement

This is that person's only post! What a meaningless account!
EDIT: It's this persons only ANYTHING!
Quote:
Last Activity: 10-31-2007 06:23 AM

Last edited by SpaceManiac; 11-06-2007 at 06:47 PM.
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Old 11-06-2007, 06:55 PM   #8
Wesley
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Default Re: Important Announcement

I'm guessing it was a BHE surprise.
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Old 11-06-2007, 06:56 PM   #9
SpaceManiac
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Default Re: Important Announcement

It was still a pointless user. Who's surprise was it, anyway? Santa Clause likely will never log on again.
EDIT: huh?
Quote:
Santa Clause

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EDIT 2: Jamul responded! Santa Clause no longer exists!
Quote:
Invalid User specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator

Last edited by SpaceManiac; 11-06-2007 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 11-06-2007, 06:58 PM   #10
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Yerfdog Re: Important Announcement

Silly Spacemaniac, there was never such thing as Santa- It was all your imagination.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:00 AM   #11
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Default Re: Important Announcement

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolguy View Post
Silly Spacemaniac, there was never such thing as Santa- It was all your imagination.
Its true. Santa is never real. (Explains why and hears thousands of little kids bawling and snivvling over the internet )
*Cough* Well, Santa isnt real...
Naruto: BELIVE IT!!
*Throws can of ramen noodles at Naruto and knocks him out )
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Old 11-07-2007, 04:39 PM   #12
Wesley
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Default Re: Important Announcement

Quote:
Originally Posted by souperzombie View Post
Its true. Santa is never real. (Explains why and hears thousands of little kids bawling and snivvling over the internet )
*Cough* Well, Santa isnt real...
Naruto: BELIVE IT!!
*Throws can of ramen noodles at Naruto and knocks him out )
No, it's Believe it. B-E-L-I-E- *Gets hit by brick*
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20:54:02 [Moltanem2000] Socrates was mortal, cats are mortal, thus socrates is a cat
20:54:12 [SpaceManiac] What sort of game would you want to play that has "Health and Welfare" as its topic
20:54:28 [Redbone] AN FPS PLS
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