Hamumu Software Hamumu Software Hamumu Software
Name
Password Register
Latest Journal update: Oct 22, 2017

Go Back   Hamumu Forum > Games > Mafia & Forum Games

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-01-2008, 10:51 PM   #1
regeneratorizer
I thought I was special!
Moderator
 
regeneratorizer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nawthen Mississippi
Posts: 1,565
Default Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia Signups

Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from *bzzt*

And now I would like to provide you with a brief history of Apeture Science. Please note: If you cannot recite this word for word in the next 24 hours, please ask a guard to escort you to our Aperture Science Testing Facility for extensive testing and reeducation.


Aperture Science was founded by Cave Johnson in 1953. In 1956, President Dwight D. Eisenhower gave Aperture Science a contract stating that Aperture Science would provide all branches of the United States Military (save for the navy) with shower curtains.
From 1957 to 1975, the company was almost entirely developing shower curtains. In 1978, Cave Johnson contracted mercury poisoning while inventing a deadly rubber sheeting injected with mercury, which would be put into shower curtains that would be given to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee. By 1979, both of Cave Johnson's kidneys had failed, and he had severe brain damage and "could not be convinced that time was not flowing backwards". While dying, Johnson created a 3-tier program which he thought would continue Aperture Science's success in the future (or past, as Johnson saw it).
The first tier was the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver, which would be used to interrupt the life-saving Heimlich maneuver.
The second was the Take-A-Wish Foundation, which would take gifts from terminally ill children and award them to healthy (but wish deprived) adults.
The third tier was, in Johnson's opinion, the least well thought out. It was described as "some kind of rip in the fabric of space", which, in Johnson's words, "would help with the shower curtains I guess". Soon after, Johnson expired.
In 1981, Aperture Science completed the first two tiers, and the announcement of this was accompanied by a lavish TV special. After a string of public disasters involving "very public" choking and sad children, the Aperture Science senior company officials were summoned before a Senate investigative committee. As the investigation continued, an engineer stated that some progress had been made with tier three. He referred to it as a 'man-sized ad hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain'. The committee was permanently recessed and Aperture was given an open-ended contract to continue work on the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver as well as the 'Portal' project.
From 1981 to 1985, work on the 'Portal' project continued. During this time, several Fatah personnel choked to death on lamb chunks despite their bodyguards' intervention, showing that the government had apparently put the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver to good work.
In 1986, Aperture Science's rivalry with Black Mesa began. Aperture Science heard that Black Mesa worked on portal technology similar to that that Aperture Science was working on. In response, Aperture Science began to develop the Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System(That's me, GLaDOS). In 1996, the disk operating part was completed and work began on the genetic lifeform area.
Several years later, the untested GLaDOS is activated on the same day as Aperture Science's first bring-your-daughter-to-work-day.

And now that we are all in the mood for some testing, let me explain what we will be doing for the next few days. We will be playing a simple game of mafia, as you might have guessed. A few days ago, you were asked to completely memorize the games rules, so we won't have to go over those. If at any time you break these rules, you will be sent to the Aperture Science Testing Facility for extensive testing and reeducation. At the end of the Aperture Science Mafia Game, there will be cake and grief counseling.

In addition to the rules, I have a few more to add.

1. Do not, at any time, imply anything completely untrue about the Cake. Everyone gets cake at the end, and stating that someone won't will be considered "Inciting a riot" and the perpetrator will be sent to the Aperture Science Testing Facility for extensive testing and reeducation.

2. The mafia game is played with the Townies(The test subject) and the mafia(Employees of Aperture Science). There may also be a third party involved.



Now we are now ready to begin the test proper. Please, access the nearest computer terminal(With the permission of the guards at your door, of course), and enter "Signup" at the prompt. Fill out the 354 page application, then leave your name at the final prompt. A security guard will be there shortly to escort you to the testing facility, where the game will begin in a few days. Feel free to socialize with the other specimen, but remember, talking, hand signals, writing, or communication of any kind is not allowed. A distance of 100 yards must be kept from all other test subject until the testing begins. Violators will be sent to the - Oh, I think you all know by now what happens to violators.

Only specimen of the Aperture Science A-Class Specimen Storage Unit may sign up. Sorry, specimen of the Aperture Science B-Class Specimen Storage Unit, but there will be no game or cake. In consolation, however, I would like to remind you that you can donate one or all of your organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund For Girls. It's true!

A list of all those playing in this game will be provided shortly.


__________________
I am a jedi warrior.

Last edited by regeneratorizer; 01-01-2008 at 10:53 PM. Reason: Artificial Intelligences are perfect and do not have Typos.
regeneratorizer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2008, 10:58 PM   #2
Coolguy
Couch Potato
 
Coolguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dumbopolis
Posts: 5,926
Talking Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I join! I look forward to the cake! Oh, and having a companion cube, too.
__________________
T&T- New Region!

Last edited by Coolguy; 01-01-2008 at 10:58 PM.
Coolguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2008, 11:35 PM   #3
Roland
Lynched Day 3
 
Roland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Innocence
Posts: 2,113
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I'm joining in! At least, as far as I'm concerned.
__________________
moo
Roland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 03:37 AM   #4
Mr.Onion
Evil, random-voting vegetable
 
Mr.Onion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Down at the shore where there's no-one vacationing.
Posts: 4,862
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

You will be baked...

Sign up.
__________________
Mr.Onion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 05:13 AM   #5
CheeseLord
No One Is Perfect
 
CheeseLord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The dead center of the universe.
Posts: 1,590
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I will sign up.
__________________
There is often a method to the madness, but always a madness to the method.

Without loss of generality, assume I am a squirrel.

I'm not an actor, I just play one on TV.
CheeseLord is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 05:32 AM   #6
AtkinsSJ
Legs sold separately.
Moderator
 
AtkinsSJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Computers!
Posts: 4,790
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I shall sign-up! For future reference, my favourite type of cake is chocolate.
__________________
Caution: may contain traces of nuts
AtkinsSJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 06:54 AM   #7
Mossysox
C.H.E.E.S.E. Burgher
 
Mossysox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Somewhere Else.
Posts: 578
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

*Thinks: 'Do I like cake?'*
*Thinks: 'Do I like grief counselling?'*
*Registers: 'Mmm, cake!'*
OK; signing up now.
__________________


Mossysox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 10:03 AM   #8
Wesley
Walks on Lava, Drowns in Water
 
Wesley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,664
Yerfdog Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I'll sign up.
__________________
20:54:02 [Moltanem2000] Socrates was mortal, cats are mortal, thus socrates is a cat
20:54:12 [SpaceManiac] What sort of game would you want to play that has "Health and Welfare" as its topic
20:54:28 [Redbone] AN FPS PLS
Wesley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2008, 11:00 AM   #9
Hammered
Nailed It!
 
Hammered's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Beyond the next event horizon
Posts: 4,252
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

signs up
__________________
Hammered is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2008, 10:22 AM   #10
drgamer
Lynch: Drgamer
 
drgamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,184
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

*signs up*
__________________
Short story stuff!
Last update. 26-JUNE-2008 Late sig update
drgamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2008, 03:22 AM   #11
Mossysox
C.H.E.E.S.E. Burgher
 
Mossysox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Somewhere Else.
Posts: 578
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

Sorry to mess you about Regen, but I think I'd better sign out from this one. I have life-stuff looming and probably won't be on the forum very much.
__________________



Last edited by Mossysox; 01-05-2008 at 03:24 AM.
Mossysox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2008, 04:10 AM   #12
regeneratorizer
I thought I was special!
Moderator
 
regeneratorizer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nawthen Mississippi
Posts: 1,565
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

Hello again, androids. We at Aperture Science would like to remind you that Android Ponyland is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.


PLAYERLIST!
COOLGUY
ROLAND
MR. ONION
CHEESELORD
ATKINSSJ
WESLEY
HAMMERED
DRGAMER
__________________
I am a jedi warrior.

Last edited by regeneratorizer; 01-05-2008 at 04:11 AM.
regeneratorizer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2008, 08:06 PM   #13
blackmyth
eats people.
 
blackmyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: gm_construct
Posts: 1,655
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I expect a three-tiered wedding cake at the end of this game.

*Signs up.*
__________________
No bueno.
"You've fallen into my fiendish trap of standing there waiting for you to just blurt it out for no reason." -Jamul
blackmyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2008, 06:23 AM   #14
Mr.Onion
Evil, random-voting vegetable
 
Mr.Onion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Down at the shore where there's no-one vacationing.
Posts: 4,862
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

But you'll never have the stomach to eat it....
__________________
Mr.Onion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2008, 09:44 PM   #15
Coolguy
Couch Potato
 
Coolguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dumbopolis
Posts: 5,926
Yerfdog Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

I remind you all that your companion cubes cannot talk, and if they do, you should ignore their advice...

Anyways, Regen, get your game ready so we can start soon after Dawn of the Dumb ends! (And please don't get revenge on me if you don't win!)
__________________
T&T- New Region!
Coolguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2008, 11:46 PM   #16
regeneratorizer
I thought I was special!
Moderator
 
regeneratorizer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nawthen Mississippi
Posts: 1,565
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

*Makes Coolguy a Jester*
__________________
I am a jedi warrior.
regeneratorizer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2008, 12:39 PM   #17
BlastOButter42
Don't try this at home.
 
BlastOButter42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 171
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

*donates organs*
__________________

BlastOButter42 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2008, 02:22 PM   #18
PlasmaCannonsRule
Exploder of Communist Penguins
 
PlasmaCannonsRule's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: An overly-cliche'd fantasy world called Earth.
Posts: 2,532
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

*donates brain* Can I join Dawn of the Dumb mafia now, pwease?
__________________
Sigs are for the weak.
PlasmaCannonsRule is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2008, 10:56 PM   #19
regeneratorizer
I thought I was special!
Moderator
 
regeneratorizer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nawthen Mississippi
Posts: 1,565
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

YO! Game starting soon. Maybe tommorrow when I get home from school. Or maybe tommorrow night when I get home from work. Depends on how tired I am.
__________________
I am a jedi warrior.
regeneratorizer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2008, 09:28 AM   #20
Mr.Onion
Evil, random-voting vegetable
 
Mr.Onion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Down at the shore where there's no-one vacationing.
Posts: 4,862
Default Re: Mafia Game #A2: Portal Mafia

We're out of beta...
We're releasing on time...


Yay! The game is about to start! *writes signup post*
__________________
Mr.Onion is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Mafia Game 15--Split-Screen Mafia Signups sonicchaos1993 Mafia & Forum Games 48 09-10-2011 09:06 AM
Mafia Game 14 - Donkey Kong Country 3 Mafia SIGNUPS! Felixrain Mafia & Forum Games 24 08-27-2011 11:58 AM
Mafia Game B14 - Sleepless Hollow Mafia Signups! SpaceManiac Mafia & Forum Games 19 02-01-2009 04:06 PM
Mafia Game B!! - Shirley Jackson Mafia Signups Julian Mafia & Forum Games 16 09-07-2008 06:04 AM
Mafia Game A2: Portal Mafia regeneratorizer Mafia & Forum Games 179 02-11-2008 09:44 PM


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Site Map
Copyright 2017, Hamumu Games Inc.