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Old 06-02-2008, 03:10 PM   #1
Ubernoob
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Default Penguins and bowling balls

I thought it might be well to advise fellow Hammumians that bowling balls and penguins don't mix. Sure, I know it might be tempting, if you see a group of penguins standing on a ledge of ice above some water, to just fire off a bowling ball, but don't do it.

They have revenge squads.
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Old 06-03-2008, 06:22 AM   #2
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Hmmm, but I always get penguins and bowling balls confused! Please, teach me how to tell the difference.
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:22 AM   #3
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Bowling balls are made of 1 ball and penguins are made of 2 (what we call body and head).
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Penguins can walk by themselves and live in cold water. Bowling balls have three holes for finger grips and are closer to spherical. Penguins have become the mascot for an operating system. Bowling balls are the inspiration for the body shape of many North Americans.
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Old 06-03-2008, 03:12 PM   #5
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

And penguins have 2 animated movies about them, but bowling balls don't have any.
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Old 06-03-2008, 04:52 PM   #6
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubernoob View Post
Bowling balls are the inspiration for the body shape of many North Americans.

The picture says it all.
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Last edited by PlasmaCannonsRule; 06-04-2008 at 11:16 AM.
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:31 PM   #7
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Forgive me, but what does that picture say? Is that a comment about operating systems, obese North Americans, or the penguin plot to rule the world?
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

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Old 06-04-2008, 05:22 AM   #9
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

You're just being purposefully obscure! ATTACK!!! Artillery division, fire!
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Old 06-04-2008, 04:09 PM   #10
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Don't you know? In all video games, pengiuns have the abilty to forcibly bounce things away! So if you hit them with a bowling ball, you will be hit in the head when it bounces back!
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Old 06-05-2008, 03:53 PM   #11
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

This explains much! I thought the penguins always just had snipers which were stalking me, waiting to counterattack with bowling balls of their own! Now I see. It must be because of their special stomachs, with reflexive properties honed over eons of swimming through turbulent water.
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Old 06-05-2008, 06:49 PM   #12
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

I just figure this would be a good place to post a certain Heroscape in-joke.... watch out, those weren't penguin snipers stalking you, Ubernoob, they were...

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Old 06-06-2008, 08:08 AM   #13
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

The Great Penguin Conspiracy keeps getting more and more disturbing all the time. Now if you were to reveal that those penguins' machine guns fired banana peels, I would be truly alarmed!
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:11 AM   #14
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubernoob View Post
The Great Penguin Conspiracy keeps getting more and more disturbing all the time. Now if you were to reveal that those penguins' machine guns fired banana peels, I would be truly alarmed!
Guns fire bullets.
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Old 06-06-2008, 10:15 AM   #15
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

But these are Nubs! They fire Tellubs!
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Old 06-06-2008, 04:51 PM   #16
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

And in jokes. If you shoot one during the day, it is instant death to Cheeselord! Throw a brick at them!

Last edited by Ryuinfinity; 06-06-2008 at 04:52 PM.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:15 PM   #17
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Ryu, I'm testing my new signature.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:28 PM   #18
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

I caught an image of myself walking in a mirror today. I was waddling side to side a little bit, and wearing a white shirt with an open vest that made me look strangely like a penguin! Evidently I have been somehow unwittingly eating the multi-coloured pills. Perhaps someone or some bird snuck them into my food.

Now I have to go through the painful and lengthy process of autode-penguinification.

Say that last word ten times fast, if you dare.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:41 AM   #19
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubernoob View Post
I caught an image of myself walking in a mirror today. I was waddling side to side a little bit, and wearing a white shirt with an open vest that made me look strangely like a penguin! Evidently I have been somehow unwittingly eating the multi-coloured pills. Perhaps someone or some bird snuck them into my food.

Now I have to go through the painful and lengthy process of autode-penguinification.

Say that last word ten times fast, if you dare.
*Brain explodes*
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:24 AM   #20
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Default Re: Penguins and bowling balls

Dang! What is the first aid procedure for a brain explosion? Letís see, my first aid kit has bubble gum, duct tape, superglue, and puzzle-descrambler. Ah, thatís it!

[Descramble][reassemble][superglue][apply duct tape around the skull just to be sure.]

When your brain heals back, be careful removing the duct tape. It might be prudent to have a child present.
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