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Old 06-11-2008, 08:54 PM   #21
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

I didn't mind the ROFLcopter much. And I too like cheese.

I found a way to defeat the penguins' innate ability to deflect bowling balls with their bellies.

Use glue.
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Old 06-12-2008, 06:39 AM   #22
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

Ah! I tried aiming high-frequency EMP at them, but never glue! Ingenuous! Anyway, I'm posting this while on the run, penguins in B-2s have taken over my neighborhood! Any advice?
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Old 06-12-2008, 01:15 PM   #23
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

The problem with using glue, though, is that it is a short-range solution. If the bowling ball rolls far enough, it will roll over the glue and stick to the floor. So it's hard to get the timing right.

With your aerial penguin problem, I suggest nets. Modify some surface to air missiles: take out the explosives and substitute nets that will unfold over a one-block area in the sky. Cleanup afterwards can be a drag, but a nice side effect is that it should also help to pick up any stray penguins caught on the ground, and even better, the dreaded penguin snipers hiding on rooftops.

If you can't modify the missiles yourself, I have found an adequate selection at PwnMart.
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Old 06-12-2008, 01:19 PM   #24
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Ah! I bought some basic missile cases at PwnMart and added nets and some silly string. (for embarrassing!) My first test was a success! Now to rid my neighborhood of these waddling weaponry!
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Old 06-12-2008, 01:25 PM   #25
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Silly string!?! I suspect some of your ordinance got mixed in with my shipment because one of my special orders yesterday had silly string auto-dispensers mixed in with my cotton candy traps. The effect was to make it rather gross tasting to eat your way out of the trap. I have found that penguins particularly detest sticky stuff on their feathers. It is hard enough for them to groom as it is.
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Old 06-12-2008, 02:09 PM   #26
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

Good idea! I successfully rid the neighborhood of them, but I think they might be coming back! I'm establishing a fort now.
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Old 06-12-2008, 06:38 PM   #27
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

How can you ever be entirely sure that your neigbourhood is sufficiently penguin-free? The only good penguin is an absent penguin.

I went to a costco tonight and there were no bananas on sale. But the floors sure were slippery!
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Old 06-13-2008, 05:58 AM   #28
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Uh-oh! If your neighborhood gets penguined you can evacuate to penguin-fort QZX, which I am currently building.
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Old 06-13-2008, 12:51 PM   #29
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

Thanks for the offer. I suspect that even now there are sinister forces plotting the repenguinification of my neighbourhood. Every day banana boats unload down at the harbour and more slipping hazards are brought to the city. Some people fret about UFO's, but what about FBO's, Flying Banana Objects? There is an organization that tracks their movements, the Flying Bananas Institute, aka the FBI. There are unwitting agents walking around with souvenir sweatshirts with FBI on them that are secretly monitoring the skies through hidden microcameras and thereby helping to guarantee the security of our planet, or at least to help reduce the slip hazards.
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Old 06-13-2008, 12:55 PM   #30
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

Quote:
Originally Posted by AtkinsSJ View Post
Nah, roflcopters are awesome. Also: lolrockets.
[picture of lolrocket from GMod here]
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Old 06-14-2008, 09:19 PM   #31
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My favourite restaurant seems to have run out of banana peel pie. I asked what they would be able to substitute some other kind of pie instead. I was rudely rebuffed! "We have better things to do than unceasingly come up with more and increasingly exotic desserts for your dining pleasure!" said the penguin-shaped waiter.

I managed to hold my temper, and asked, "Like what?"

"Um, er, we, uh, have to er, help clean the iceburgs..."

"Tell him nothing!" came the interjecting remarks of another waiter who had been listening the whole time from behind a pillar. "He is on the list of those suspected of catching on to our plans!"

"Sorry comrade. I will bill him immediately!" said my waiter.

"And my dessert?!"

"Have some complimentary tickle-juice, comrade customer."

And so that was where we left it. Service has really gone downhill, but the tickle-juice wasn't bad.
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Old 06-15-2008, 03:19 PM   #32
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

Ah! Cleaning the icebergs! What an excuse for eating people and freezing the Earth!
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Old 06-16-2008, 01:30 PM   #33
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Do penguins dine on humans? I assumed they just wanted to capture us so they could study the proper way to walk.

And their plan to freeze the Earth seems to be in disarray at the moment, what with all this global warming!
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:18 AM   #34
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Agreed. But I think they are waiting for a "The Day After Tommorow" style Earth freeze before they initiate their plans.
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:18 AM   #35
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Interesting. You seem to know a lot about penguin plans. Are you a SPY?!?!

Do you think the penguins would settle for a deep freeze of just Toronto as a first step?
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Old 06-18-2008, 11:34 AM   #36
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Default Re: Banana Peel Pie

I know why the penguins are away from home! The last glacier is now being used for a giant glass of polar bear coke! The penguins are fleeing!
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:45 AM   #37
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That is only an excuse. Penguins have been plotting a return to power over the entire Earth ever since the last ice age. There is abundant archeological evidence for this.

Consider, for example, how nuns dress.
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Old 06-19-2008, 01:54 PM   #38
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=D. I think the main piece of proof is the movie "The Day After Tomorrow" It shows exactly what the penguins goal is, and makes it seem like the humans are doomed!
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