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Old 05-24-2005, 09:23 AM   #1
Jamul
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Default Historical Hijinks

For top secret reasons, I'd like to hear anybody's ideas of the following:

Events in history that are reasonably well known (including prehistory), and that turned out well, but could've been made to turn out badly if somebody (or everybody) involved had gotten horribly drunk. It could be inventions that don't work out, wars that don't work, famous documents that get ruined, historical constructions that get broken, or whatever you can think of.

Two examples:

20,000 BC – The caveman who was supposed to invent the wheel is too drunk, he’s making a triangle instead.

1001, Viking Ship – Leif Erikson gets lost on his way across the pacific when his navigator is drunk.
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:46 AM   #2
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1752 - A very sloshed Benjamin Franklin was flying his kite from his rooftop, but he tripped and fell to his death. No electricity!

1969 - The Astronaut piloting the Eagle to the moon is drunk, so he lands in a crater. The Eagle is too damaged to return home, and the world is too discouraged to try space travel again.

1620 - the captain of the Mayflower is drunk and runs into Plymouth Rock, sinking the ship.
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Old 05-24-2005, 10:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Historical Hijinks

Quote:
Originally Posted by jamul
1001, Viking Ship – Leif Erikson gets lost on his way across the pacific when his navigator is drunk.
Wow imagine how drunk he would have had to be to wind up in the Pacific instead of the Atlantic! I think the boat itself must have been drunk as well!
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Old 05-24-2005, 11:44 AM   #4
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In December 1917 Congress adopted and submitted to the states the Eighteenth Amendment, known as the Prohibition amendment, which prohibited the "manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors." The thought of not being able to consume alcohol so depressed them that they had to toss back several quick ones just to get down to the business of penning the amendment. Thus was created:

U.S. Constitution: Eighteenth Amendment
Eighteenth Amendment - Mandatory Production of Intoxicating Liquors


Amendment Text
Section 1. After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture of intoxicating liquors within the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby strictly required. All residents (regardless of race, color, creed, age, sex, ornation of origin are required to produce a minimum of 2 gallons of such beverages per calendar week.

Section 2. The Congress and the several States shall have concurrent power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Section 3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Section 4. Cheers!
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Old 05-24-2005, 12:28 PM   #5
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Default Re: Historical Hijinks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammered
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamul
1001, Viking Ship – Leif Erikson gets lost on his way across the pacific when his navigator is drunk.
Wow imagine how drunk he would have had to be to wind up in the Pacific instead of the Atlantic! I think the boat itself must have been drunk as well!
You know, the world was very different back in those days.
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Old 05-24-2005, 12:39 PM   #6
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Apparently so.
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Old 05-24-2005, 01:16 PM   #7
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March 1998 - Jamul quits his job, but instead of making a modern sequal to SPISPOD (Dr. Lunatic), he decides to create a very wacky game... (And no one buys it due to the sheer wackiness, so Jamul drops out of game making)
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Old 05-24-2005, 01:28 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drgamer
March 1998 - Jamul quits his job, but instead of making a modern sequal to SPISPOD (Dr. Lunatic), he decides to create a very wacky game... (And no one buys it due to the sheer wackiness, so Jamul drops out of game making)
And how does this relate to the topic? The challenge is to show how being drunk might change history.
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Old 05-24-2005, 01:34 PM   #9
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It does change history!
/forgot to add the word "Drunk" in there somewher\
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Old 05-24-2005, 02:33 PM   #10
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Dateline August 5, 2001:

George W. Bush gets drunk at a rich guy party, and doesn't get drunk the next day. The next day, he receives a memo about the plans to use planes as weapons, and does something about it. Over one month later, on 9/11/1, all 19 hijackers are stopped, arrested, and put on trial. The United States never invades Afghanistan or Iraq.
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Old 05-24-2005, 02:40 PM   #11
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April 1912- The navigator of the Titanic gets drunk and wavers off-course from the Iceberg. Yay for people saved.

"Hooray, hooray, scream with joy, tear floats down face..."
"Stop reading the script!"
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Old 05-24-2005, 03:01 PM   #12
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It's worth pointing out that only situations that DID turn out well, but would turn out badly with the proper input of drunkenness, is what I'm looking for. Got some great stuff above, but now you guys are setting things RIGHT by getting people drunk, and that's not helping any!
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Old 05-24-2005, 03:12 PM   #13
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1776 - The signing of the Decleration of Indepence got a little off track. Thanks to a party the night before, the Decleration of Indepence became the "Decleration of Servatude" and thus the tie between America and England grew...
(Thus America didn't give the example of Democracy, and England remained a super power, good for the king/queen though)
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Old 05-24-2005, 03:33 PM   #14
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2448 BC - A drunken Noah gathers the last of the animals onto the ark just as the rain begins. Staggering out to launch it, he slips on the dock, accidentally pushing it out onto the murky waters without himself on board, causing extinction of the human race.
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Old 05-24-2005, 04:17 PM   #15
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December 25, 1776 - George Washington, who got hammered at a Christmas Eve party, learned the hard way that standing up in a boat is a bad idea. He fell overboard and drowned, and the American Revolution came to an abrupt end.
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Old 05-24-2005, 04:28 PM   #16
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Are you taking my name in vain?
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Old 05-24-2005, 05:23 PM   #17
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*Insert date when Pearl Harbor was bombed here*: The Japanese pilots were too drunk to bomb the harbor, so they crashed into the ocean instead. (Yay! A good outcome!)
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Old 05-24-2005, 05:28 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamul
It's worth pointing out that only situations that DID turn out well, but would turn out badly with the proper input of drunkenness, is what I'm looking for. Got some great stuff above, but now you guys are setting things RIGHT by getting people drunk, and that's not helping any!
... but anyway, it was December 7, 1941. I know because my father was there.
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Old 05-24-2005, 06:05 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammered
but anyway, it was December 7, 1941. I know because my father was there.
I know because I'm an American! Everyone should know the date of the Pearl Harbor attack!!
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Old 05-24-2005, 06:35 PM   #20
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October 24, 1962 - Moscow, USSR - A drunken Nikita Khrushchev decides President Kennedy is bluffing in the Cuban Missile Crisis and tries to break the U.S. blockade of Cuba. Things spiral out of control, and a nuclear war results.

April 5, 1862 - Pittsburg Landing, Tennessee - Believing that Confederate troops are nowhere nearby, Ulysses S. Grant goes on a bender. He is killed the next morning when Confederate troops attack and rout Grant's army. With the Union's best general out of the picture, the U.S. Civil War is longer and bloodier as a result.

479 BC - Somewhere near Athens, Greece - Disagreements over strategy, fueled by large amounts of wine, cause a strategy meeting between the allied Greek city-states to degenerate into a drunken brawl. The Persian Empire wins several critical battles and conquers the Greek city-states one by one. Western civilization is aborted.

1929 - London, England - Dr. Alexander Fleming gets drunk in a pub on his last day of vacation. The next day a hung-over Fleming throws out some moldy petri dishes without noticing anything unusual about them. As a result, he does not discover penicillin and antibiotics are not developed! (possibly, their development is just severely delayed. big effects either way.)
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