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Old 06-05-2005, 06:51 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sokko
I guess this isn't so "top secret" anymore. :wink:
What do you mean?
I havn't seen any top secret revealings!

9/11/2001 - A few dozen drunken air crew crash into various important buildings (And the ones that didn't do their planned damage happened to do even worse damage)
This shocked the U.S. Government and shattered it due to panic. This left the states with governments, no national government. Fifty indifidual states; although some of them joined together (Mainly the smaller ones). And so on and so forth...
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Old 06-06-2005, 12:14 PM   #42
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Quote:
What do you mean?
I havn't seen any top secret revealings!
You have if you got the monthly e-mail newsletter. But if you didn't, there was a vague hint in the most recent journal entry.
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Old 06-06-2005, 12:48 PM   #43
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D'OH
I forgot about that

Japan, When the Great wall was built - Instead of building it in China, the drunken builders built it all around Japan, encasing it in stone, due to the fact that they also, drunkenly, put the ladders and stairs on the outside; This caused Japan to not get involved in World War 2 (They somehow escaped contact with Germany) Thus pearl harbor was not bombed, USA didn't get into the war, at least not as quickly, and Germany actually took over Russia, Eurpope Etc. (Not as far as China, but a large chunk of the world)

King George 3's lifetime; He gets drunk after celebrating the brilliant taxes on the colonies, and falls off a bridge; thus the british government falls to ruins

A long Time ago - The inventor of alchohalic beverages gets drunk right before recording his formula; He spills all of his supplies and the batch he had; before collapsing and forgetting about the entire thing; talk about a paradox, No alchohal because of alchohal!

About 20 years ago (Possibly, not sure about the exact year) - a drunken Nintendo designer finishes the plans for Nintendo's first gaming consle, but due to a slight error in the production of the console, it burst into flames after 30 Minutes of play; no one caught this because the testers were to drunk to test properly, and at 29 minutes and 59 seconds, turned off the machines (The closest call); This causes Nintendo to lose it's good name; No video games due to the video game crash.
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Old 06-08-2005, 10:38 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drgamer
No video games due to the video game crash.
You could say they 'Crashed and burned!'
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:42 PM   #45
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-3000BCE: Drunk, Archimedes falls off a cliff and dies before he records any of his inventions.
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Old 09-01-2005, 01:47 PM   #46
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Sometime before World War 2, but during the rein of Hitler:

A drunken hitler is pushed off a bridge of insulting his own people!
People stuck in time that go to this new time cheer after hearing this... if only for a few seconds because:
Hitler gets replaced by a crueler smarter dictator:
smarter in that (S)he kept the scientific programs on defence; built up a massive defense, slowly expanded, built up defence, etc.
Takes over the world and blames problems on a certain group of people... Drunks...
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Old 09-01-2005, 02:05 PM   #47
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33 AD - Due to a mistake by drunk Roman soldiers, one of Jesus disciples is crucified rather than Jesus, and the Christian religion fails to exist.

Somewhen Really Far Back in Time - A fish with the desire to reach land gets drunk and becomes depressed. Feeling the need to show off, he decides to go out on land, while drunk. A combination of alcohol and lack of water suffocates the fish, and no animals ever again leave the sea.
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Old 09-01-2005, 09:51 PM   #48
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Of course there's a whole bunch of puns you could do with discoveries:

Thomas Edison, in a drunken stupor, tries to create the first phonograph, but instead succeeds only in creating a phony bath.

The Wright brothers, somewhat buzzed, make a mistake in constructing their aeroplane, and instead invent the aero-cane, a device to assist elderly birds. It fails for unknown reasons.

Nikola Tesla, after drinking copious amounts of vodka, throws away his plans for the Tesla coil and instead invents the Tesla moyle.

The Manhattan project, after consuming too many Coronas, decide not to create the atomic bomb, and instead pursue the atomic comb. (Er, I guess that's not a bad thing. Whoops)

In a different vein:
Isaac Newton passes out underneath the apple tree and slumbers through a veritable barrage of apples, many of which strike his head. Millions proceed to die in gravity related accidents.
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Old 09-01-2005, 10:53 PM   #49
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The year 3000 - Professor Hubert Farnsworth is too drunk to invent time machine.
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Old 09-02-2005, 05:06 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milo
...atomic comb...
Bad!
I can just imagine the headlines:
Thousands die due to Atomic Comb!

The Atomic Comb scalps users!

Bald men live!

Well maybe that's why Bouapha is bald?
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Old 09-02-2005, 05:31 PM   #51
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A drunk King Tut orders his tomb to be built in the Nile. The drunken Egyptians agree, and build it in the Nile. The staggering Egyptians drown while trying to fill out this order. When it is finally completeted, the crocodiles in the Nile become drunk because of all the alchohal in the tomb, so they devour most of the general public. This also results in no one finding King Tut's tomb full of treasures.
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Old 09-05-2005, 09:59 AM   #52
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March 12, 5,000 BC - Atlantis - The gods get drunk and never send the greedy Atlanteans to their doom. The Atlanteans then proceed to take over the planet.

Janurary 24, 1848 AD - Wild West - John Sutter gets drunk, and never finds gold. Thus, the gold rush never happens, and nobody moves west.

June 15, 1215 AD - Medieval Age - The barons who were attempting to capture King John and force him to sign the Magna Carta get drunk. They make the Magna Carta into a paper airplane and toss it into their campfire.

July 24, 2141 AD - Mars - NASA plans to create a colony on Mars, and they pay some scientists to create robots to build a dome to keep air in. The scientists get drunk and mess up the robots, who in turn mess up the dome. In the end, the colonists suffocate because of the faulty dome. NASA never creates another colony again.

November 21, 1718 AD - Pirate Times - The sailors on the two ships sent to destroy Blackbeard became drunk, and never killed him.
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Old 09-05-2005, 10:17 AM   #53
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3rd July 1945 - a drunk Churchill misdirects Operation Overlord missing Germany completly and invading Switzerland. Drunken soldiers lose the fight.

26th August 1945 - Drunken technicians make Nuke spew alcohol rather than sub-atomic death. The Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings never happen.
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Old 09-05-2005, 10:28 AM   #54
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For a second I thought you meant the cities themselves never happened!

Then I realized what you meant, and you should say the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings never happened.
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Old 09-07-2005, 09:49 AM   #55
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Don't know if it's been said before:
10 000 BC: Ug the caveman is too drunk, after a time-travelling ninja left some jugs of moonshine behind, when he invents fire, and he burns himself to death.
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Old 09-07-2005, 01:24 PM   #56
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Err...
It isn't the time traveling ninja that causes this...
It's the moonshine still time machine
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Old 09-11-2005, 04:23 AM   #57
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Some time in the last 2 years- a drunk SQL technician breaks the database containing the data for this forum! This conversation doesn't happen! (Again )
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Old 09-11-2005, 05:28 AM   #58
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What conversation?
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