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Belittling Horror Excessively: Fingerprints03:53 AM -- Mon October 21, 2013

SPOILER WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Synopsis: You know the urban legend where you can park your car on the train tracks, and ghost kids will push it off? First of all, that's totally entitled of you - don't you think those kids have something better to do in the afterlife? But secondly, that's what this movie is about! A girl returns home from rehab, although her family moved in the meantime, to the town where those train tracks are. People start getting killed, and she investigates the legend of the train tracks, and whatever. Bad acting ensues.

Scariness Type: Well... there are ghosts, and a weird torture/slasher person, sort of like Jason, but dumber. But scariness? It's scary they made this movie.

Rating: 1/5 Stun Batons.

Body Count: 1 busfull of kids, plus 6 more non-kids.

Fun Fact: I am pretty sure the main character's mom is a robot. An evil robot.

Best Moment: None.

Worst Moment: I think you'd have to dig deep, but some lowlights include the attempted rape, the train hitting the bus and causing it to... well, cut to some random spinning cameras inside the bus as blood was splashed around with absolutely no special effects at all, and pretty much everything the villain ever does.

A Suspension Bridge Too Far: There's a point where the girl and her friends are parked on the train tracks, and of course eagerly awaiting getting pushed by ghost kids. Apparently they're really preoccupied with it because none of them hear or see a semi pulling up behind them until it honks its horn. That is about as believable as every scene in Scream 3.

Horror Tropes: We got our blood drip! I don't actually remember it now, but in my notes it says "modified blood drip", so there may have been something different about how it happened. And of course there's the usual situation where nobody believes the hero, and the supernatural things happening end up making her look like she's doing bad things.

My Take: This was terrible. Just plain terrible. It was clearly direct-to-DVD (or just made-for-TV), as the awful cinematography and ultra-cheapness and low-quality film stock display. I don't know how this can be, but apparently it takes good money to choose a decent font, because I literally could tell this was a TV production based on the fonts in the opening credits. Just so bad. The villain in the end is really unintentionally funny, and pretty much everything else that happens is just terrible.

Missed Opportunity: They could've stopped. They could've said, "You know what? This isn't working. Let's just not do it. We can all go work on something else." They didn't.

The Lesson: Don't watch this.

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