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Belittling Horror Excessively: 388 Arletta Avenue03:51 AM -- Sat October 4, 2014

SPOILER WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

This is a found-footage movie, and you know I love those. In this one, the cameras we are viewing the action through are all hidden cameras that a stalker has placed in a couple's home. Which is a clever idea, but there are some really silly cameras, like he has one installed inside their car, which is fine, except he has another camera attached to the front grill of their car like it's a racing game switched into a low-down perspective. Another one is inside their alarm clock, where you can see the giant digital numbers half-obscuring your view. Odd.

Anyway, the stalker kills the wife of the couple, but hides the body and leaves a note that she's just left, and then he does various things to try to drive the husband insane. Like he kills their cat and replaces it with a very similar-looking one, but that doesn't fool the husband, because who'd be fooled by the wrong pet? So the husband looks really crazy as he tries to explain to cops that the cat isn't his cat.

Really, all this strange stuff is pretty interesting, but it is kind of slow-moving. The one thing that really got to me is that this movie looks and feels like a Paranormal Activity movie - you see long shots of empty hallways, waiting for something to happen. Only since you know this isn't a ghost movie, you know no chairs are going to suddenly move or anything, the most interesting thing that could happen is one of the couple walks across the hall. Later in the movie, that gets a little better as the stalker is actually in their house just being creepy, so he shows up in some shots, which is somewhat akin to spotting a ghost in Paranormal Activity, but still lacks some creepiness.

So, all in all, it was okay, but a little slow, and the ending was to me a big letdown. I expected something different as it got towards the end, and what I expected would have been way more interesting. I had that epiphany moment you get when you've figured out the twist just before it's revealed, only the filmmakers didn't figure out the twist, so they didn't manage to film the twist. Thus no twist. I give this 3 out of 5 Mix CDs, and it has a body count of 1 cat and 3 people.

For this movie, I drew a comic of my alternate ending. There's a point right near the end where, one by one, the various hidden cameras in the house click off, presumably because their work is done. But the second I saw that, I thought the comic below was going to be the ending, and it would've made the movie ten times better if it was!

(In case my storytelling skills aren't quite up to par, in this ending, it turns out there was no stalker. The husband had killed his wife himself, because he is NUTS and the stalker was in his head. There are no actual cameras switching off, it's just him having the realization that there aren't any cameras as he snaps back to reality. And isn't that fun to watch a found footage movie which turns out not to be footage at all?)
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