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Belittling Horror Excessively: The Bleeding House04:37 AM -- Tue October 7, 2014

Wow. This movie was a bit of a surprise. It's the story of a family that is kind of shunned in their town because of an unexplained event that happened in the past. Then a guy in an old-timey suit shows up at their door asking to spend the night because his car broke down. Old timey murderin' ensues.

Just wow. The gist of the family's secret (I told you there'd be spoilers!) is that their daughter is a psychotic murderer. Which, when the visitor shows up to murder the family and she escapes, sets up a fun situation that could've been good – the old "He doesn't know what he's getting himself into" situation. Only, it doesn't happen. She doesn't toy with and eventually destroy him, she's more your regular old slasher heroine who barely escapes time and again. It doesn't particularly matter that she is also a psycho. Very disappointing.

But that's not the real disappointment! That would be the horrendous acting, the complete lack of suspenseful music, the total blase nature of everything that happens, and just the weird and stilted feel to the entire proceedings. This is bad stuff, for sure. I really enjoyed one scene – when the daughter comes across a frizzy-haired woman who turns out to be something like the visitor's girlfriend, out in the woods. The visitor's girlfriend is hilarious! It usually takes something pretty special for me to notice bad acting, and boy did I notice it here.

So in the end, we have a body count of six people and one bird, and the movie fully earns its 1 out of 5 Ball-Peen Hammers. Ridiculous.

The old-timey visitor was a fun character, it seemed like this movie could've had a chance based on his "charm", so I drew a picture of him from a Google image search. I'm kind of proud of the picture, I think it looks alright, except for one thing: it doesn't look anything like him. Faces are subtle and tricky things, and I just didn't capture his essence. But it looks like somebody and I give myself credit for that.
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