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Belittling Horror Excessively: The Ouija Experiment12:31 PM -- Tue October 13, 2015

The Ouija Experiment

My Review: Oh my pickles. It has been a long time since I’ve truly seen a movie that was “so bad it’s good”. I mean, I like Sharknado movies, but they’re doing it on purpose. This is a terrible movie, that I really enjoyed. I engaged in actual real-life LOL behavior with this one, on at least two occasions. And just so we’re clear, it’s not supposed to be funny. Well, some parts are, but those parts were agonizing, not funny.

The plot goes like this: some college kids get together to use a ouija board. One of them is the official Super Annoying Guy With The Camera, although I’d say every one of the characters in this movie is about as annoying as the classic Super Annoying Guy With The Camera, so the fact that he’s even worse is pretty spectacular. It is found footage indeed, as we watch these kids misuse their ouija board, flip out due to interpersonal drama, make video skype calls and call that “using youtube”, reference popular youtube videos very LOUDLY, and eventually run from and get killed by some reasonably scary ghosts.

The acting is unbelievable. Easily the fakest found footage movie I’ve ever seen, by a mile. In fact, it could be that it’s the only thing wrong with the movie, but it’s so far beyond the pale, you can’t see anything else. It’s like a high school production, and not one that earned an A. I would say the writing was terrible too, but I suspect that’s just a matter of ad-libbing, since it was found footage. The overall gist of the story is actually entertaining (if a little flawed), although the specifics hinge on the horrible behavior of the characters. The special effects are pretty good... or rather, the CGI ghost stuff is. There are some hilarious other effects in the movie. There is a decapitation that was one of the times I laughed out loud, and then there’s a floating camera (held by a ghost) that is even worse. That was the moment that sold the movie for me. I will definitely be sharing that moment with anyone willing to suffer through it.

There is zero excuse for this movie being done in found-footage format. In fact, the plot would be twice as good, and probably the movie would be too, if the characters didn’t constantly interact with cameras and discuss how they were going to film themselves for the night, or specifically set cameras in just the right place before going across the room to confront a spooky sound they heard. It really was the worst of “convenient camera placement” I’ve ever seen. There’s actually a flashback that semi-inexplicably switches to normal cameras (which totally belies the point of found footage - if we are admitting this is a fictional movie, why do we have to view it through the characters’ cameras?). Just in case you’re wondering, it’s just as embarrassing as the other part.

Oh yeah, and: “the film you are about to see is based on true events - although there have been numerous documented cases in which users experienced unexplained occurrences and bizarre happenings while playing with a ouija board - scientists disregard them as ... coincidences” Stupid scientists, when will they ever learn!?

My Rating: 2/5 Cameras On A Fishing Line.

My Movie Idea: Uh oh, I was too distracted by the art on display to come up with ideas of my own. Umm, let’s see... how about a woman uses a ouija board to learn some stuff, and gradually what she learns makes her kill her husband (he’s cheating and probably all sorts of worse things too), as she gradually gets told true things and weird psychic stuff like “green falls” - what’s green falls? Huh? The next day somebody in a bright green rain slicker slips in a puddle right in front of her and falls down. She’s like “whoa!” and she trusts the information even more since it’s clearly magical knowledge. Of course, it turns out, the ouija board has magnets and such in it, and there are cameras in the room, and somebody set all this up to manipulate her into doing this. I don’t know why, but I bet it’s something good!

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