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Belittling Horror Excessively: The Ruins05:51 PM -- Sun October 22, 2017

WARNING! This post contains extensive spoilers for this movie. Watch the movie before reading! Or don't. You have been warned.

The Ruins (2008)
Rated R
IMDB Says:
“A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist, embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle where something evil lives among the ruins.”
IMDB Rating: 5.9/10
Metacritic Rating: 44/100
Rotten Tomatoes: 48% critics, 30% audience
Solee: 3.5/5
Mikey: 3.5/5
We watched this on Hulu.

Solee: When you chose this movie, you said you had read the novel upon which it is based. How closely did it stick to the novel? Which did you prefer?

Mikey: It was surprisingly close to the novel actually. I don’t remember it super well, but every one of the big issues they had to deal with was straight from there. Of course there was more to it - there was a growing dread, because at first it’s just grabby plants, then they mimic sounds (but hey, it’s just noise, it doesn’t know what it means, right?), then they realize it’s intelligent and evil. It ends up laughing at them as it kills them. It’s pretty dark! I think they did a good job with it in the movie. How did it grab you?

Solee: I’m not usually a huge fan of “monster” movies, as they are generally pretty cheesy. This one had a lot of the same flaws--one-sided characters, generic settings--but the monster itself was quite creepy. Especially when the flowers appeared and would mimic the people. The visual there was very unsettling.

Mikey: Yeah, we got our classic band of college kids from every horror movie. I listed them as German, Leader, Whiny, Sexy, and Other Guy. Other Guy might have been The Jock though. And Whiny was probably The Nerd. But mostly just whiny. German isn’t a standard slot in these movies, but I guess he was the token sacrifice since he didn’t get to do much. Things went bad really fast in this movie.

Solee: I liked that about it. It does lead to shallower characters, but let’s face it … we weren’t going to really get to know these kids. It’s much better to throw them right into the fire and watch them squirm longer than to drag out the “look these are real people” bits. Don’t get me wrong, I like “real people” movies better … but this wasn’t a thinking woman’s movie. This was a monster flick and it did monster flick well.

Mikey: Yeah, The Monster spent forever on their life, and was time well-spent. But this was a different idea. This was popcorn! I will say it attacked me in the same way The Thaw did: entities aren’t supposed to go inside your body. It’s not good. I was very stressed out, and I would definitely suffer the same paranoia that Stacy did (which turned out valid).

Solee: Yep, my body got very creepy crawly whenever the vines got their tendrils on a person. My gag reflex was on high alert whenever they were pulling vines out of someone. BLEGH.

Mikey: Yeah. Yikes.

Solee: I was very disappointed that Jeff, who I thought really stepped up during the crisis situations, didn’t make it, but Amy, who did nothing but whine and complain through the WHOLE move, was the sole survivor. This movie did not have a happy ending.

Mikey: I think they were setting up Amy with a sort of arc. As Stacy went crazy, she kind of stepped up and was soothing her. But there just wasn’t enough character to arc with. And to be fair, Jeff didn’t so much not make it as step up even more during the final crisis. He stepped way up.

Solee: Life Lesson: Don’t step up to Mayans who feel it is their sacred duty to stop you from spreading the infectious, man-eating plant around the planet. They’re gonna take you down. Those Mayans definitely understand Solee’s #1 Rule of Infection.

Mikey: I was on their side for the whole movie. This was a white privilege trespassing-because-we-can movie. One of them even said “Four Americans on a vacation don’t just disappear” as reason why they were going to get out alive. Somebody will care about us, we’re American! I really liked that the Mayans weren’t bad in any way, they were totally right and it just made a bad situation for the main characters who didn’t know what they were doing. That’s so much better than having a silly villain who wants to do something evil (worse yet when they know it’s evil, they just like to be evil). That feels much more real.

Solee: There’s a part of me that feels like those kids could have done a better job of surviving. They did some really dumb things. But when I think about it, I can’t really think of anything that would have worked against a plant that was essentially mind-controlling them and guards who knew they’d already been infected. What would you have done differently if you found yourself on a sentient-plant-infested temple?

Mikey: I’m curious about this mind-controlling. What do you refer to there?

Solee: Well, maybe not mind control so much as it drove them insane. Those kids were not acting normally toward one another. Or was that just another example of how I’m too old for movies about college kids now? Because I don’t care if you’re my worst enemy … if we’re trapped and you’re the only person around to collaborate with, you’ve become my new best friend. All the other crap can wait until we’re not on the brink of death.

Mikey: Huh, I took all that as the result of extreme stress. I mean, here’s the thing to your original question: I don’t think it matters one bit what I would do differently. There was no way anybody was getting off that pyramid (nevermind that one did). It’s just a literally impossible situation. Once they touched those plants, it was all over. Which is the horror of it all. And explains a lot of stress being felt.

Solee: Do you think more of them would have gotten off if they had gone with the run-for-it strategy earlier? Eric was in pretty good shape until Stacy put a paring knife through his chest.

Mikey: That was shocking and seemed very implausible even in her lashing out. But anyway, I don’t think so. I think it’s a miracle (a bad one) that even one of them got away. The Mayans were doing their best to save the world! Speaking of her getting away, I found an alternate ending to this movie on Youtube, which is exactly what I expected to see at the end. I knew that would happen!

Solee: WHY DID THEY CUT THAT?? I wanted that ending. I’m disappointed that wasn’t part of the actual movie. It needed to be. If only so that I could see Amy get her just reward for being soooo unpleasant.

Mikey: I know, it was so short too, and it only adds to it. Plus now we can have the sequel where they have to salt around the entire city she was buried in.

Solee: I mean, with a monster this invincible, it sorta seems like the beginning of the end for humanity, right?

Mikey: It does feel that way, although I have a hard time figuring why the Mayans never just burned that pyramid in the first place. Seems like fire would work. I’m about 80% sure the book had a clear-cut explanation for why this wasn’t an option (and clearly the people stuck on top didn’t have the means to do it), but once it’s settled in in America, that seems reasonable. Although then you think about everything she touched on the whole way back...

Solee: Yeah. Amy selfishly doomed the whole world. Typical Amy. What did you think of Dr. Jeff’s efforts to save the German by cutting off his legs medieval surgeon style?

Mikey: Well… I think he was right. They only showed quick shots in the movie, but that was exposed bone. It was bad. Bad bad. Yikes. This was indeed a stressful movie, and it was well-done so that you really felt the tension instead of laughing at stupid effects or bad acting. One thing with Dr. Jeff though - I think that was bad casting. He just looked like a total villain the entire movie. Maybe I’m just prejudiced against him.

Solee: No, I agree. I kept waiting for him to go evil in some way. Like when the leg surgery was happening, there were facial expressions that made me wonder if he REALLY thought it was the best thing for Mathias or if it was the plants trying to inflict more horror on them somehow. I bet that could have been alleviated with a different hairstyle or something. There was a sinister look to him.

Mikey: I feel bad that we are dooming him to villain roles because of his looks. We’re eyebrow-shaming (not sure it was eyebrows, that was just the most villainous facial feature I could think of). It’s interesting though, I never had the notion that the plants were controlling anybody in any way, and you are going there again. I really wonder what I would think had I not read the book beforehand.

Solee: Well, I’m not trying to push that theory … I just watched the whole movie through that particular lens. Maybe it’s because Get Out had a sound trigger for mind-control. Those sentient flowers could definitely have come up with something. Even just the constant buzzing/ringing noises would have driven them a little crazy and that’s a form of control, isn’t it? The plant evolved knowing that if it made humans crazy enough they’d lash out.

Mikey: That makes sense to me. It certainly made an effort to torment them. Well, do you have more insights to share, or a rating?

Solee: I’m ready to rate. I am going to give this movie a solid 3.5. It wasn’t anything spectacular in any way, but it wasn’t bad enough to really hate it. The premise was interesting and it was fun to despise the character of Amy. It was middle of the road. You?

Mikey: Well, I think this movie was really well-done, surprisingly so. I was super impressed by it, on a technical and creative level. But the specific creation which they did such a good job making was still just “a bunch of college kids with no personality go party at a cabin in the woods and get murdered” as usual. So I think I have to join you right on the 3.5 spot. Enjoyable and well-made, but it lacks that something special to make it a work of art rather than another shlocky murderfest. Which is harsh, because it was good. If it even just had cleverly written characters who you cared about, I think that would jump it right up to a 5.

Solee: I think you’re right about that. There’s not a lot of 2s or 4s in this kind of thing. This could have been very good with the right touch.

Mikey: So close! Perhaps our next movie will hit the mark. What is that?

Solee: Oh, I’m choosing to wow us with Under The Shadow!
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